week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
