did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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