I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
