Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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