How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
