you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
