Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
