Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
