I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
