haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
