Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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