Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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