i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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