Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
