he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
