We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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