Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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