Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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