the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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