I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
