I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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