I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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