i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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