i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize