Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
