she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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