What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize