every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so let's talk penis.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
