theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
