He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
