Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize