I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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