grandma shit on top of the toilet
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize