So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
