She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im part way to drunk.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
