I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
