i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
