i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
