Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
