He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The struggles of a small town man whore
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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