Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
