I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
my poor anus
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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