Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dear god my vagina.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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