ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
