He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
