You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She's the barista slut.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
