Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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