Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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