Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize