Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
