then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
