Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
