wrigley field is MILF paradise
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize