Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
