i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
