I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I looked at my own cervix.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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