That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
