Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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