the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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