we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize