dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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