Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
