I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
