i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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