ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
