The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
