absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
