Three words: puerto rican gang bang
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
