Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
