Umm I'm too high to move.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize