someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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