Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
