And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
