I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
